


maybe we found love right where we are

by niallszayn



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Slow Burn, mostly because zayn is pretty much married to his work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-17 12:55:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2310350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niallszayn/pseuds/niallszayn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn Malik is one of the hottest magazine editors in the industry but he's overworked, so his business partners suggest he get an assistant. Enter Niall Horan, who is quirky and fun and can't write an article to save his life, but he can make a mean frappuccino (and on one rare occasion, give an orgasmic back rub after a long stressful night) so Zayn keeps him around, but definitely not for his face, absolutely not, nope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	maybe we found love right where we are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KayleeJohn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayleeJohn/gifts).



> Hi! :)  
> this is - obviously - my contribution to the ziall fic exchange, that I massively enjoyed taking part in, even though I ended up struggling with getting this done in time, for multiple reasons. I'm still not entirely happy with how it turned out, I would've liked to go into more detail occasionally, but I hope it's alright!  
> The summary is the prompt I picked, even though all three I got were so great I would've liked to write them all, if I'd had the time.  
> I hope this is what you pictured, Kaylee :)

"I know you haven't read what it's about, that's why I'm telling you!" Zayn sighed. "And I'm telling you, those two don't go next to each other, they do not fit."

Zayn pressed the phone closer to his ear, scrubbing his hand across his forehead. Discussions like this with the layout department were his least favourite thing.

"Can you please just switch the Bank of Scotland article with the statistics on page 32? If you don't read the articles, you're going to have to trust me."

He listened to the whining of the layouter on the other end of the line for a minute longer, already knowing he'd give in, simply to get a breather before he'd have to go back to his research.

Dealing with numbers was necessary if you wanted to be successful, Zayn knew that. It was what he'd been told all throughout his childhood and education, by teachers, family, professors, tutors.

And it was true, he dealt with numbers – even if one thought it’d be mainly page numbers, he had to know surprisingly many other numbers too – and was successful, so it had all worked out.

He sighed deeply as he dove back into the thick folder of research he'd collected so he'd always be up to date with everything that was happening in the world of banking.

Zayn Malik was one of London's top editors, and one of the youngest too.

Just last week, he'd been awarded the Young Excellence Award for everything he'd already reached within his still rather short career.

He was regularly listed as one of the top earners under 30 in the world of journalism and everyone in the industry knew his name.

Zayn had a big and modern apartment in one of the best parts of London, and a driver since he'd never learned to drive.

If he was asked whether he was happy or not he always said yes, because what more could he want?

However, this success came with a price, namely an incredible amount of work.

He couldn't remember when he'd last went out on weekend or went on a date, even. His social life was hanging out with his best – and probably only – friend Louis and sometimes Louis’ girlfriend Eleanor.

He'd never really minded, his job was his life and he was thankful for it, because he'd been able to pay off his parents' mortgage and help get his sister into a better school.

Lately, however, some of his business partners and Louis (very insistently) had started showing concern about his workload.

They'd gotten into his head enough for him to start wondering when he'd last talked to someone who wasn't working with him or was a member of his family.

"You could get an assistant" the chief editor of the picture desk had suggested. "I was in the same situation you're in now and since I've got an assistant everything is so much less stressful."

"You're going to suffocate from all the work you're doing" Louis kept saying. "You need to take a break sometimes, El and I are worried about you."

When his mother had mentioned how he never came to visit and that he was always working when she called, Zayn had finally decided that it was time to hire an assistant.

Unfortunately, hiring meant a lot of work too, and neither he nor his secretary had really had time to look through applications, so Zayn had just randomly picked out ten of them, checking if they fulfilled the general requirements, and then invited them for an interview.

Technically, Zayn didn't have the time for ten interviews either, but he'd decided to keep them very short, to never let them surpass ten minutes.

The first guy showing up was probably one of the most annoying people Zayn had ever met, and he'd met lots of annoying people. Imagining having to work with him made Zayn cringe, so he sent him off after less than ten minutes.

The two women following after him weren't much better, and one very obviously tried to flirt with Zayn, which was his reason to tell her immediately she wasn't what he was looking for. Not that she had to know he didn't only mean the professional sense.

He'd kind of already lost hope after the sixth hopeless person, when his door opened with the seventh one and in wafted the delicious smell of coffee.

"Hi, Mr Malik?" a voice said and he looked up to find a young man, brownish-blond hair and a huge smile on his face that made his blue eyes sparkle.

Not that Zayn noticed the colour of his eyes or the way his cheeks looked slightly flushed. He didn't.

"Uh, yeah, that's me" he replied, immediately hating how ineloquent he sounded.

"Hi!" the guy repeated, smile still in place. "I'm Niall. Niall Horan. And I made you a frappucino."

Zayn grinned. "Now, Mr Horan, is that frappucino your way of bribing me into giving you the job?"

"You don't seem the type to take bribes" Niall shrugged with a smirk.

Zayn smirked too. "I'll take the coffee anyway."

"With pleasure" the blond said with a grin, handing him the cup.

Zayn thanked him and gestured for him to sit down. "Well then, tell me about yourself, Mr Horan. What else can you do, besides make coffee? Why did you apply for this job?"

"Okay, I'm not gonna lie. I know they say you shouldn't talk about your weaknesses in interviews, but it wouldn't be fair if I wouldn't tell you that I can't write articles, like at all. I'm not too good at spelling and the whole stuff."

Zayn gaped at him. Not two minutes in, and this job interview was already the strangest one he'd ever witnessed.

"I studied communication and banking at university and worked at a coffee shop to pay the bills - that's where I learned to make this" he added, pointing at the cup in Zayn's hand, "and pretty much every sort of coffee and tea. To be honest...I don't really know what I want to do yet. I would've kept working at the coffee shop, but my mum kept bugging me about making more out of the fact that I actually do have a degree. So when I saw your ad, I thought it might be something for me, since I have expert knowledge on the topic and the banking sector and what not. I'm also really good with people, so I could for example take calls for you and whatever else you need. Plus, I could always make you great coffee."

The last part was said with a smile and Zayn couldn't help but smile back. It wasn't a question that Niall wasn't what he'd had in mind, but the young man had somehow charmed Zayn so much with his honesty and openness that he found himself considering offering him the position.

As chief editor he didn't have to write many articles anyway, he was responsible for planning every edition of The Banker and making sure everyone else didn't make any mistakes, he had to bring the pieces his journalists brought him into an order and he had meetings with the layout department about the look of the magazine.

If Niall could help with checking articles and especially all the calls he got from journalists and bankers from all over the world, it _would_ be a big help.

-

"I want him" Zayn said to his secretary after he'd sat through the last two interviews, sipping on his frappucino and a lot more relaxed than before, putting Niall Horan's application on her desk.

She opened it and looked over it briefly, before looking up at him with raised eyebrows. "Are you sure, Mr Malik? He's not exactly qualified for this kind of work."

"I've talked to him and I think he's going to be a great help. He was by far the most promising candidate today, so please send him an email with a draft contract, will you?"

"As you wish, sir." Zayn could almost hear her eye roll as he turned around and went back into his office, but he didn't really care. He knew she didn't like him very much, but he didn't like her either. He really didn't like anyone but Louis, who worked in licensing, at the whole magazine, they all seemed like stuck up, privileged bores to him.

While he had worked his way up, things had probably just been handed to them, and they still liked nothing more than complaining about anything and everything.

He found it hard to talk to them.

-

"Rumour has it you've hired someone unqualified as your assistant" Louis told him a couple of days later, after Niall had sent back the signed contract.

Zayn sighed. "Maybe I should think about firing my talkative secretary if she keeps telling the whole world about all of my decisions. And he's not unqualified."

"Oh, he?" Louis smirked, making Zayn groan. "Is he cute, then?"

"No! I don't know!" Zayn tried. "I haven't looked."

"So he is."

Zayn sighed and wondered what his chances of finding a less observant best friend were. "Yeah..."

Louis smirked again and Zayn hit his arm. "That's not why I hired him, though! He can definitely help me."

"Help you relieve the tension, you mean? I've got an idea or two what he could do to do that."

"Fuck off, Louis. You know I'm not like that."

"I know that you haven't gotten laid in too long to be healthy."

"Why do I even tell you things anymore?" Zayn sighed. "And why are you so informed about my sex life?"

"Because you tend to whine about it when we're drunk."

"I'll never drink again" Zayn vowed, knowing he'd break the vow again sooner than he hoped.

It wasn't that he drank too much, but he and Louis sometimes got drunk on the weekends because he'd found he had trouble relaxing otherwise. He had the tendency to keep thinking and talking about work related things if he didn't help his brain shut down.

Maybe he should've taken that as a sign he needed help a long time ago.

If Zayn thought back, people had been telling him to lay off the work for a long time. Not just family, friends and well-meaning colleagues, but also other editors from competing magazines.

Most of those hadn't been simply well-meaning, they rather were complaints about how he was already one of Britain’s top editors and made them all look bad while he worked himself to death.

"Zayn! You still here?"

Zayn blinked and looked at Louis who was staring at him questioningly.

"Uhh...sorry mate, I must've lost track for a second there."

Louis sighed deeply. "You definitely are overworked, my friend. So you mean to tell me I've been telling nobody about the holiday I want to take El on over Christmas and New Year's for the past five minutes?"

"You are? That's a brilliant idea, Lou! Where to?"

"Which answers my question" Louis sighed again. "I was thinking Spain, I want somewhere moderately warm but not too expensive, somewhere I can still hope to find a hotel on short notice, cause after all, it's not even two months until Christmas..."

"Already?" Zayn groaned.

"Yes, already. Sometimes I really don't know where your head's at."

"Me neither" Zayn mumbled. "I'm starting to see the point if this whole assistant thing."

-

The first morning of Niall's employment started with one of the best coffees Zayn had ever had.

He'd already started working an hour prior because he'd woken up at dawn anyway - not a rare occurrence lately.

This was probably the reason for his tiredness all the time, but he couldn't do anything against it. Sleep was a luxury he hadn't had in a long time.

A cup of coffee was the best alternative to sleep Zayn had, but he'd forgotten to buy one on his way to work that morning, so Niall walking into his office with a grin and a cheerful "good morning, Mr Malik!", surrounded by the smell of freshly brewed coffee immediately brightened up his mood.

"Good morning" he replied and took the coffee with a grateful smile.

"What can I do for you this lovely morning?"

"Well, it's your first day, so - welcome here at The Banker" Zayn said with a smile that Niall returned easily. "And now I'm going to tell you what I need help with today so you can get used to some of the tasks you'll have to complete for me. I'll pretty much just let you go wild with it straight away, but if you have any questions, feel free to come to me or my secretary Tracy outside."

Niall's face when Zayn mentioned Tracy was hilarious. For a second, he seemed to lose control over his features as he dropped the smile for the first time ever since Zayn had met him and looked mildly displeased.

Zayn had the impression in the book of Niall Horan this was very bad.

He couldn't really keep the chuckle escaping from his lips and Niall immediately looked caught and then apologetic.

"Sorry, I wasn't -"

"Don't worry" Zayn grinned. "I'm not particularly fond of her either and I know it's a mutual thing."

"She doesn't like _you_?"

"Your disbelief is flattering" Zayn said with a smile and briefly thought that this was the most he'd smiled in a long time. "But I'm sure she doesn't."

"Well" Niall shrugged. "I'm not here to make friends with the secretary anyway, I'm here to take away some of your workload. So what do you want me to do?"

"I need you to do some research for me" Zayn explained. "We've set up a computer for you and I'll give you a list that you can work off, using our database or the internet. I'll show you how to work with those in a bit. This is the main job you'll be doing for the next couple of days until me or Tracy show you how we deal with communication via phone or email. Now come on, let me show you your place of work."

-

Niall learned quickly, and by the end of his first week, he handled a big chunk of Zayn's correspondence and research.

Zayn didn't really feel like he had less work, but that was definitely his own fault since he kept checking Niall's work, which meant he still had just as much work.

He was sure he'd get used to it soon though, since Niall did well and barely made any mistakes.

"So" Niall started one morning when he brought Zayn his coffee. "When do you usually take your lunch break? It's just, I never actually see you leave your office for it."

"Oh" Zayn said. "I don't usually take a lunch break, actually."

"What? But when do you have lunch then?"

"I don't."

"You don't eat anything for lunch?"

"Not really" Zayn shrugged. "It's no big deal though, I'm used to it. I have snacks in my office, that's usually enough."

"Snacks aren't lunch" Niall protested. "That can't be healthy."

"I'm fine, no need to make such a fuss about it."

Niall huffed. "I think you work too much, Mr Malik."

“I’m alright” Zayn insisted.

Niall didn’t look convinced, but he let it go.

-

Zayn had had people bring strange things into his office for all kinds of reasons, but the takeaway box from the Chinese restaurant on the other side of the street Niall brought in at half past twelve that day had to be one of the strangest.

"What is that?" he asked when Niall sat it down on his table.

"Your lunch" Niall replied matter-of-factly. "I don't know if you like Chinese but I was getting mine and figured I might just as well bring you something."

He put another box on the table and sat down on Zayn's visitor chair as if it was the most natural thing to do, opening his lunch.

"Go on, eat before it gets cold."

Zayn kept staring at him incredulously for a moment, before doing as he was ordered and starting to eat as if he was in trance.

Niall kept up a light chatter all throughout their lunch break, not seeming to mind that Zayn didn't participate much.

Zayn had to admit it was the nicest meal he'd had in a while, even if it just consisted of take-out on his office desk.

"Isn't this much better than a few snacks in between work?" Niall asked when Zayn had taken the last bite.

"It is" Zayn admitted. "Thanks for this, Niall."

"You're welcome, Mr Malik" Niall smiled, and for a second, Zayn considered telling him to call him Zayn.

He kept his mouth shut though, because he was Niall’s boss and he was afraid he’d give away too much of his authority if he offered Niall to call him by his first name. It’d definitely cross the line between a business and a personal relationship.

Niall thankfully let Zayn pay for their food without much protest, and since Zayn knew what his pay was, he wasn't very surprised.

He was surprised however about how much easier it was getting back to his work after a small break and Zayn thought he should probably do this more often.

Apparently Niall thought so too, because he showed up at the same time the next day, bringing two pizzas.

Zayn didn't even question it when from then on, Niall came to his office with a different kind of takeaway food every lunchtime.

It quickly became sort of a routine for them, and Zayn really enjoyed getting to know his young assistant better.

Niall was quite fascinating in his openness, he didn't hold back any information about himself like Zayn was used to from the people he usually talked to.

He laughed a lot and made Zayn laugh too, by telling him all sorts of stories. He had a unique way of storytelling, got really into it and sometimes even acted things out for Zayn to understand.

Niall didn't try to make himself look good through his stories, he had no problem with laughing about himself or his mistakes, and Zayn really liked that about him.

Normally, Zayn was decidedly closed-off, never offering anything to his conversational partner, but something about the way Niall talked to him slowly made him open up too.

He gave things about himself away that he'd carefully kept hidden from most people in his life and he didn't even feel threatened by it.

Maybe that was unprofessional of him - it definitely was, and he didn't tell Louis how he spent his lunch break for a reason - but he enjoyed it way too much to put an end to it.

It didn’t take more than two or three weeks of their lunch dates – that weren’t dates at all, as Zayn kept telling himself – for Niall to know more about him than anyone besides Louis did.

One Wednesday evening then, Niall stormed into his at around 6pm, much like he had that first time he brought Zayn lunch.

"I'm probably already annoying you with all the changes I'm making" he said without introduction, "but by now I know you well enough to know that if you don't leave when I do, you probably stay way too long. So I decided to drag you out of your office by 6pm at least once a week, and if I have to physically pull you."

"What?" Zayn asked, dumbfounded. "I can't, I'm in the middle of -"

"Stop doing other people's work!" Niall interrupted, taking a step towards Zayn. "I know that's what you do. All the people working for you are bloody lazy, handing in half-arsed pieces and letting you fix it. I'm not blind, Mr Malik, I've noticed. Now will you please put this down and come with me?"

Zayn stared at his assistant for a full minute before slowly putting down his work and shutting his computer off.

"I didn't mean to boss you around, that's not my place" Niall said when Zayn had finished and joined him by the door. "It's just that I can't help noticing how much you work, and how much of it is because other people don't work enough. I just don't think that's fair, something needs to change."

Zayn looked at him thoughtfully.

"Thanks" he said. "I've kind of stopped noticing these things by now, but I'm glad someone's picking up on them. I admit that this isn't exactly the kind of help I imagined getting from an assistant before I hired you, but it's surprisingly nice."

Niall smiled and Zayn grinned conspiratorial. "Don't tell anyone I said that."

Niall laughed. "Alright, I won't. Ready to go?"

Zayn nodded and they left his office towards the stairs.

"You prefer these too?" Niall asked.

"Yes, I'm sitting around enough as it is, I don't need to take the elevator on top of that. Why do you?"

"I'm claustrophobic" Niall shrugged. "Not a big fan of tight spaces."

“Fair enough” Zayn nodded. “Is it hard to deal with? I mean, London’s a crowded city.”

“It can be challenging” Niall admitted. “But I get by, it’s never gotten too bad. So, where’s your car parked?”

“I don’t have a car.”

“You don’t?” Niall sounded surprised. “I sort of expected you to drive one of these fancy black cars. A Range Rover, at least.”

“I don’t even have a license” Zayn said. “I’ve got a driver who drives me to important meetings and such, but I take the tube as often as possible. Makes me feel more normal than these suits and fancy offices. Don’t have that Oyster Card for nothing.”

"So you're taking the tube now, too?"

"Yes, I was going to head to Victoria Station from here. What about you, where do you have to go?"

"The same stop first, I'm taking the District Line towards Upminster, gotta switch onto the DLR then. I live in Blackwall."

"That's not exactly my direction" Zayn said. "I'm heading towards Brixton. But we could walk to the tube together, if you want?"

"Sure" Niall smiled. "Do you live on your own? I wouldn't be able to stay at work that long knowing there's food waiting for me."

"I suppose that's something you only get with a girlfriend who likes to cook."

"Oh no" Niall hurriedly explained, "I don't have a girlfriend. It's my flatmate Harry who likes to cook for me and our other flatmate Liam."

"Lucky you" Zayn laughed and hatred how relieved he felt. What was his deal? "I live alone and I never cook for myself."

"You should come sometime." Niall suddenly looked worried, quickly adding: "Or would that be inappropriate?"

"Some people probably think so" Zayn said. "But I don't really care, if I'm being honest. We're already having lunch together, what's the difference?"

"I'm still scared I'll cross a line one day and you'll fire me" Niall admitted with a chuckle. "I might be good with people but I'm not very good with boundaries."

"I'll let you know if I ever think you're in danger of going too far" Zayn promised with a smile. "So far you're alright, though."

"Yeah? Good." He paused in front of the signpost they had been heading towards. "You're taking Victoria line, right? That means our ways separate here."

"Alright, thanks again for doing all of these things for me. I'll see you tomorrow, Niall" Zayn said with a smile, wondering briefly if they should shake hands and then deciding that'd be too formal for a tube station, even if it was Victoria Station.

"You're welcome, Mr Malik. Enjoy your night off!"

When Zayn watched Niall leave, he thought that he'd definitely made the right choice when he'd hired him.

-

"Do you remember how I sort of invited you over to mine for dinner a couple of days ago?" Niall asked about a week later when they were enjoying the curry he'd brought for lunch.

Zayn nodded, still chewing, pulling his brows together in question.

"Well, my mate Harry - the one who cooks - told me he wants to meet you before he has to cook something. Dunno, he's weird in that way, says he needs a feel for someone to make the right meal."

"Okay?" Zayn asked, unsure what Niall was implying.

"So...I was wondering if you'd come down to the pub with us this Saturday. We're going every weekend, Harry, Liam and I, and sometimes we'll meet some more people, depends on who's there. Just for a laugh, a few pints, you know. So if you want...?"

"Oh" Zayn made, looking down at his lunch. "I don't know..."

"I just thought - don't take this the wrong way, but it seems as if you don't do much on weekends, and I think that kind of lifestyle, just work and no fun, can't be very healthy. Besides, my friends really want to meet that famous boss of mine."

"Famous?" Zayn asked with an incredulous laugh.

"Well, I might've told them some things about you" Niall admitted a little sheepishly.

"Only good things, I hope" Zayn teased.

"Obviously." Niall's smile was so genuine and familiar and nice that Zayn almost agreed then and there, forgetting his dislike of any sort of social gathering, especially if he didn't know anyone.

"I wouldn't want to intrude on your night out. Me being there is only going to lessen your fun."

"Don't worry about that, I'm positive I won't be holding back because of you. I've been told I'm fun to be around on a night out."

"I can picture that, actually."

"So come!" Niall kept trying. "It'll be fun, I promise. You can leave as soon as you stop enjoying yourself, but I'm sure it'll be good for you to see something but the same four walls of your office for once."

Zayn sighed deeply, but Niall was looking at him with those big blue puppy eyes, and how was he supposed to say no to that?

"You're not playing fair" he laughed. "But alright."

Niall cheered and gave him a huge smile. "You're not gonna regret it."

-

Zayn regretted it the minute he stepped into the crowded pub the next evening.

The air was warm and smelled of smoke, chips and beer, and there was the constant noise of glasses clinking and people talking.

He spotted Niall - who had already spotted him, making it impossible to leave and make up an excuse - on a table in a corner, together with two young men about his age.

One of them had short hair and looked his way curiously, but not unfriendly, while the other one was hanging off his shoulder, gesturing wildly and shaking his curly hair.

Niall waved him over excitedly and Zayn plastered a smile on his face, starting to make his way through the mass of people.

"Hi, I'm so glad you came!" Niall shouted, getting up. "These are Liam and Harry. Lads, this is Zayn Malik, my boss. I'm gonna get you a drink, beer alright?"

Zayn barely had time to nod before Niall expertly pushed people away to make his way to the bar.

"Hello" he said awkwardly, giving a sheepish wave.

"Hey, take a seat" the curly one - Harry, Zayn remembered - said, gesturing towards the seat opposite him. "It's so good to finally meet you, Niall's been talking about you so much."

"He really enjoys working for you" the quieter one, Liam, added.

"He's doing a great job" Zayn replied, still feeling very misplaced on this table, at this bar.

"We're very proud of him" Harry explained. "He's the only one of us with a proper job, you know. I don't make much or at least not regularly by playing small gigs."

"You're a musician?"

"Yep. Still trying to get the word out, at the moment."

"Good luck" Zayn said, and genuinely meant it. Music had always been a passion of his he couldn't really live out. "What sort of music do you make?"

"Uh, sort of alternative, I guess. Dunno, people tell me I'm a bit weird, and I guess my music is, too."

Zayn took in the colourful scarf tied around his head to keep the wild curls at bay and the shirt that was unbuttoned far enough to show his heavily tattooed chest and belly and nodded understandingly.

"I can see that."

Harry watched him for a moment with a straight face before breaking out into loud laughter.

Liam grinned too and patted Harry's back.

"Everyone's got you figured out, Haz." He turned to Zayn with a smile, adding: "It's good Niall's doing something he has fun doing. He was a bit down after he got his degree because he didn't know what came next. He always wanted to do something with music, and watching Harry and me do it...I guess that's his story to tell, but I just wanted to let you know we're happy you gave him the chance."

"Of course" Zayn nodded, not even sure what he was reacting to with it. "What do you do then? You said something involving music too?"

"I'm a DJ" Liam explained. "It's not the greatest job and I don't have a regular income, but I want to be a producer eventually, and this was the closest thing to it I could get so far."

"You seem like quite a musical group."

"Oh, we are!" Niall's voice came from next to him, where he'd reappeared carrying two pints.

He set them down in front of him and slid onto the seat next to Zayn, handing him a glass.

"Dunno how much you've heard from these two already, but I've got quite the knack for music myself and tonight is karaoke night, so you're probably gonna get to enjoy a performance or two. Do you sing?"

Zayn laughed. "Usually not outside of my shower."

"You're gonna have to give it a go" Harry said. "We're always looking for people to freshen this up a little. It's always the same people singing."

"We'll see" Zayn said dismissively, deciding that nothing would get him onto that stage tonight. "Cheers."

Niall lifted his glass to his, his two friends following and they all took a sip - or, Zayn did, while the others seemed to down half of their drinks in one go.

"You obviously don't do this enough" Liam said. "Come on, you can't drink a beer like that. Try again."

They were all looking at him expectantly, so Zayn obeyed, lifting the pint to his lips with a chuckle, before gulping down almost half of it.

He set the glass back down on the table with a thud, wiping his upper lip with the back of his hand. "Happy?"

"Very" Harry grinned, while Liam shot him a thumbs up and Niall patted his back in congratulation.

The night continued much like it had started, although Zayn felt as if people were coming and going on their table as if it was a train station. The four of them were almost always complete, but there were different groups or people joining them for a quick chat or a pint, causing the constant flow of alcohol to stay exactly that: constant.

Zayn felt slightly dizzy when he got up to go to the toilet and held on to the edge of the table for a moment.

"You alright, mate?" Liam asked, noticing how unsteady Zayn felt.

"Yeah, don't worry, just heading to the loo" Zayn explained, regaining his balance.

He'd offered the three of them to call him Zayn about two pints before, being called Mr Malik in this environment seemed strange and kind of wrong. Too formal for people he was getting drunk with.

When he got out of the toilet, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and put a hand on the wall to stabilise himself while getting it out.

"Hello?" he answered it without looking at the screen.

"Zayn? What's that noise? Where are you?" Louis voice sounded confused.

"I'm at a pub."

"A pub? Who with? Are you drunk?"

"I'm alright, mum" Zayn laughed. "What's up with you?"

"It's just...you never go to the pub. I can't even get you to go. Who was it that managed to convince you?"

"I didn't wanna go, but do you know how hard it is to say no to puppy eyes? And not just puppy eyes, but blue puppy eyes. Jesus, Louis, Niall's eyes are so _blue_..."

"Niall? Who's -? Wait, Niall was your assistant, right? What are you doing going out with him?"

"It's not a date, Lou, shush. It's just a lads' night out, we're four men having pints. Sometimes more. Niall knows many people."

"And you're sure that's an alright thing to do as his boss?"

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry so much" Zayn sighed. "Aren't you happy I'm doing something but working?"

"I am" Louis assured him. "I'm just a bit bored right now and wasn't expecting you to be busy."

"You could come too" Zayn suggested. "I'll give you the address."

-

"I invited my friend Louis to come here, too" Zayn announced when he got back to their table. "Hope that's alright."

"The more, the merrier" Liam shrugged, and Harry nodded.

"Is that the one who works at the magazine too?" Niall asked. "The one who calls you all the time and is the only one allowed into your office unannounced?"

"Yeah, that's him. He works in licensing for The Banker. Has he never introduced himself?"

"No, he hasn't" Niall said and Zayn furrowed his brow, noticing how Liam looked at Niall. Kind of concerned...or pitying.

"Oh well, you're gonna meet him now, then."

-

By the time Louis arrived, Zayn had let himself be roped into singing a duet with Niall, so he didn't notice him until they were done and walked back to the table.

He'd really only looked at Niall throughout the whole song to forget there were people watching them, watching him sing, something that hadn't happened in years.

While he was in school, he'd regularly been part of school productions, but once he'd entered university, he'd solely concentrated on his academic studies, leaving art and music behind.

He'd needed a bit of reassurance and Niall had provided that, so looking at his duet partner was the obvious thing to do.

That was the only reason.

He hadn't been even slightly captivated by Niall's smile or his shiny eyes or his enthusiastic dance moves. Not at all.

"Sorry if I weirded you out with my, um, looking at you" Zayn said to Niall as they exited the small stage. "I just...haven't done this in a long time and was a bit nervous I guess."

"That's alright, I don't feel assaulted" Niall grinned.

"Thanks for letting me pick the song."

"Nah, it was the least thing I could do." Niall squeezed his wrist lightly for a second and Zayn's step faltered a little. He hoped he got back into rhythm quickly enough for Niall not to notice. "Funny that Shot for Me is one of your favourite songs and the only song by Drake I feel confident singing."

"Yeah, that was lucky. Would've had to go with the Backstreet Boys otherwise."

" _I want it that way_ " Niall crooned into his ear, making Zayn laugh.

" _Tell me why_ " he sang, Niall joining in enthusiastically.

They were still singing to each other, harmonising surprisingly well, when suddenly Louis was standing in front of them, hands on his hips.

"What the fuck, Z?"

Zayn's smile immediately dropped from his face and Niall stopped singing next to him, recognising who Louis was.

"Lou?" Zayn asked carefully.

"I'm - I'll head back to our table, yeah?" Niall said quietly, his eyes darting between Zayn and Louis.

Zayn nodded and smiled at him before turning his attention back to Louis. "What's going on?"

"Did you just sing a Drake song in front of an audience? With your assistant?"

"Uh...yes, guess I did" Zayn shrugged. "What's wrong with that?"

"There's nothing wrong with it, at least if you ignore the fact that you're losing all your credibility as a strict leader, what bothers me is that apparently I'm a shit friend."

"What?" Zayn asked, shocked. "What, no, Lou! What makes you think that?"

"I didn't even notice anything about you, but apparently you've changed enough to go out and sing karaoke now, something you haven't done since you left school! I know you, and something has changed within the past few weeks. And I didn't notice."

"I..." Zayn drifted off, thoughtful. He hadn't looked at it this way, but Louis had a point.

"Is this because of him?" Louis asked, jerking his head in the direction Niall had left to.

Zayn shrugged, too drunk to try and deny it.

"Is there something you haven't told me?"

"No" Zayn said. "Just...he's sort of taking care of me, making sure I have lunch and don't work too much, you know. It should be weird, but...it's sort of nice?"

Louis smiled. "That's good, Z, don't you see? You look better than you have in a long time. I'm glad you found someone you'll let take care of you."

Zayn smiled and gave his upper arm a squeeze. "You're still my best friend."

"Love you, mate" Louis replied with a smile and pulled Zayn in for a hug that he returned more than willingly.

"Get a room!" someone yelled and they both laughed, Louis giving Zayn's butt a slap to rile them up more.

"Come on then, introduce me to those new friends of yours."

Zayn let go of him and led him towards their table.

"Did you kiss and make up?" Harry asked before they'd even arrived at the table.

"Why yes, we did" Louis shouted back, waiting until they were stood right by the table to add: "I like your headscarf."

Harry beamed. "Thank you! Finally someone with some taste!"

Liam snickered and shoved at Harry's shoulder so they could slide over and make room for Louis.

Zayn sat down next to Niall again, who'd stayed strangely quiet.

"Lou, this is Liam, Harry and Niall. Lads, you've probably figured it out by now, but this is Louis."

Louis gave a wave at everyone, grinning.

"Sorry for coming off like a twat at first" he said, mainly aimed at Niall who still hadn't said a word. "I was just a bit angry at this one here for not telling me about you lot earlier."

He reached across the table, patting Zayn's cheek and Niall stiffened even more.

Zayn looked over at him for a moment, taking in his straight face and pinched mouth. It seemed all kinds of wrong. He hadn't known Niall for that long, but he knew that he was a very cheerful person, and he'd never seen him this cold.

Shrugging the strange feeling off, he turned back to Louis.

"I'm sorry about that, but I didn't even think you'd want to know. Where's El? Usually you're busy with her on a Saturday night."

"She's visiting her parents" Louis sighed wistfully. "Something about her mum needing someone to go shopping with her. Bit egoistic if you ask me. Her mum could go shopping with anyone, but who am I gonna get off with?"

Liam snorted and Harry said: "Well technically..."

"No, thanks Harold, I'm strictly monogamous when it comes to her" Louis interrupted with a smirk, and Harry put a hand to his heart, cooing.

Zayn watched them and thought that he really shouldn't have worried about coming that night. If even Louis got along with these lads so easily, everything was alright.

"So, does that mean that you two aren't...?" Liam asked carefully, eyes darting between Zayn and Louis like Niall's had earlier.

Niall, who'd finally looked up.

"No" Louis laughed, "Jesus, no. We didn't _really_ kiss and make up. I mean we made up, but we're not...no, Zayn's my best friend and has been for years, but I don't swing that way. Sorry Zayners."

Zayn grinned at him. "I've gotten over the rejection years ago, but thanks."

Harry sighed. "Doesn't that happen to everyone? A crush on the best friend you can't have? Whether it's because they're straight or you're straight and they're not..."

Liam laughed, shaking his head. "Shut up, Haz, you're drunk."

"What?" Harry protested. "It's happened to me, it's happened to Zayn..."

"I'm not sure Zayn was being serious" Liam interrupted, looking at Niall again, which didn't really make sense to Zayn.

"No, I was" Zayn admitted, grinning at his best friend. "I did have a crush on him when we were like 14...got over it pretty quickly though, his style is too homeless man for me."

Four pairs of eyes were staring at him, and with a start Zayn realised that he'd just come out to three people he barely knew, but then Louis hit him over the head for the insult and everyone laughed, breaking the tension.

"Right then" Louis announced. "I'm gonna need something strong to drink, I feel like you got a headstart here. Anyone else want something? This round's on me!"

Louis went to get pints for everyone - after they'd all emptied their glasses as quick as possible, who would deny a free round of drinks? - and Liam reached across the table to ruffle Niall's hair.

"Y'alright there, mate?"

"Fine" Niall grinned and Zayn noticed he looked like his usual self again. "Perfectly fine."

Zayn thought that he was, too.

-

The Monday after that started out slightly awkward, when Niall stumbled across his usual "Good morning, Mr Malik".

There obviously wasn't any other reason than avoiding that awkwardness for Zayn telling him: "You've gotten me to sing on a stage and you've witnessed me drunk, I reckon we're past the formal Mr Malik, don't you think?"

It didn't have to do anything with him liking the way his first name sounded rolling off Niall's tongue.

Nothing at all.

-

As the weeks went by, Zayn felt gradually less stressed, and he was very grateful for all of the work Niall took off him.

Occasionally though, so many things were to be done at once that he fell back into old patterns.

"Zayn" Niall groaned when he walked into his office at 7am one morning. "Please tell me you didn't just pull an all-nighter."

"Um...I didn't pull an all-nighter?" Zayn lied.

He carefully moved his head from side to side, trying to get rid of the stiffness in his neck.

He hadn't even noticed the sun rising again and was a little bit shocked to find he hadn't slept at all that night, except for an hour long nap on his desk that had left him with a crick in his neck but not less tired.

Niall placed his coffee in front of him with a deep sigh.

"I told you to go home when I left at 9pm last night, which is already way longer than either of us should work, if I may remind you. Why didn't you go home?"

"You're going to get paid for these extra hours, of course" Zayn assured him, avoiding to answer the real question.

"I don't care about that" Niall said, frowning at him. "How do you expect to work today if you didn't sleep? Look at you, you look tense and seconds away from falling asleep on your desk."

"I'm alright" Zayn insisted, circling his shoulders in a vain attempt of getting rid of the ache there.

"Let me..." Niall moved around Zayn's desk to stand behind him. "I'm quite good with my hands, everyone says I give a mean back rub. How about I give it a try?"

"Is that why you're so good at playing guitar too?" Zayn asked when Niall placed his hands on his shoulders first, guiding him into the position he wanted him in.

The blonde man chuckled, starting off with a light pressure right against Zayn's shoulders.

"You don't actually know if I'm good or bad yet, I could've told you anything. You've never heard me play after all."

"Well, as far as I know you, and I reckon I do know quite a bit by now, you're not the type of person to overestimate your talent."

Niall didn't say anything else, just kept massaging, and Zayn let his eyes fall shut, revelling in the feeling. Niall definitely hadn't lied about /this/ talent.

When Niall hit a spot somewhere on his back that had apparently been in desperate need for that attention, Zayn couldn't help but let out a low groan that even to his own ears sounded more like a moan.

After that first one though, it became increasingly hard keeping the sounds in, and eventually he just gave up, letting the blissful groans echo around his office.

"I don't really know what I was expecting after those sounds I heard from outside, but it definitely wasn't a back rub" Louis' voice suddenly came from the door.

"Apparently you've never gotten a really good back rub" Zayn said without opening his eyes. "Niall's got magic fingers."

"I can hear that" Louis snickered and Zayn opened one eye to glare at him.

"I can have a go on you too, if you want" Niall offered and Zayn felt him shrug.

"No thanks, I'll leave that privilege to Zayn. You look terrible by the way, mate."

"Thanks" Zayn said sarcastically, but Louis was seemingly having a silent conversation with Niall across his head.

"When did you two learn how to communicate via telepathy?" he asked, and maybe he felt a little left out. "And why didn't you teach me?"

"Shut up, Zayn" Louis said. "You should start listening to your assistant more, he's actually quite right most of the time."

"And you should learn knocking on doors instead of just walking in despite hearing suspicious noises."

"Shut up" Louis repeated with a grin. "Is there any acute danger of me walking into something I'm not supposed to see?"

Zayn groaned and let his head fall backwards, refusing to respond in any way, for example by blushing like he wanted to.

Or like Niall did, as he could see now.

"Sod off, Lou" he mumbled and Niall chuckled quietly. "You're mad."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Louis laughed, still standing by the door.

"You do know I'll have to keep you around forever now, though, right?" Zayn only half joked. "I'm never gonna find another assistant who can do all of this."

"Yeah, alright" Niall laughed.

"Good thing you didn't listen to any of our concerns concerning Niall's qualifications" Louis grinned and Zayn knew he knew what he was doing with it.

He could feel Niall's eyes on him, obviously curious about what Louis meant, but he didn't meet his eye.

What was he supposed to say anyway? He'd chosen Niall because he'd liked him best out of all the applicants, but he felt weird saying that to him.

"Anyway" Louis said with another smirk. "I just wanted to say good morning, but apparently you're already having a brilliant one without me. Don't stay long today."

"Alright, mum."

"He's right, though!" Niall interjected. "I'm gonna make you leave at noon."

"Good man" Louis called, waving and leaving Zayn's office.

"I've got too much to do" Zayn protested. "I can't go home that early."

"I'll help you get rid of everything that has to be done by then" Niall promised. "The rest can wait."

Zayn sighed, rubbing his tired eyes. "We'll see how it goes."

He was certain there was no way he was getting out of there before six o'clock.

-

"How was your afternoon off?"

Zayn punched Louis' arm for the stupid smirk on his face but he couldn't really deny he'd really needed the time off.

So he left it with the punch and a shrug, taking a sip of his coffee before he answered.

"I slept through all of it, called my mum in the evening and ordered in for dinner, so nothing exciting."

Louis looked at him with his head cocked to the side, eyes squinting curiously.

"You didn't spend it with Niall?"

"What?" Zayn asked, genuinely confused. "No! Of course I didn't, why would he want to spend his afternoon off entertaining his boss?"

"I should get to work, but I feel like you can figure this out on your own." Louis' face was smug as he turned around one last time to add: "Maybe take into consideration how you just phrased your answer. That'll give you a clue about your own feelings."

Sometimes Zayn hated Louis with a passion.

-

"Louis told me that assistant you got has actually managed to get you to slow down with your work a bit."

"When did you talk to Louis?" Zayn asked his mum, very confused.

He'd driven home to Bradford over the weekend to see his parents and sisters again, and his mum had made him sit down for a big dinner, fussing about him being too thin.

"We chat on the phone sometimes, I thought you knew that!"

"What? Why?"

"Just to catch up. What's so surprising about that?"

Zayn grumbled into his chicken tikka without giving an answer. Louis probably told his mum things she'd never find out otherwise, and he wasn't sure he was alright with that.

"Is it true then?" Trisha wanted to know.

"Is what true?"

"That someone's finally gotten into your head about it?"

Zayn hesitated. He felt as if whatever he was going to say would be twisted around to somehow make it sound like something it wasn't.

"Sort of, I guess" he shrugged as nonchalantly as possible. "It's mostly because Niall's really persistent about it and because I don't want to make him stay longer just because I do. And he does do a lot of the work I'd usually have to do."

"Is Niall your boyfriend then?" Safaa asked and even though she was almost nineteen now, she was still so obviously Zayn's annoying little sister, just like Waliyha, whose attention was immediately on him too.

He'd somehow known this would happen, but he still didn't have a clue how his friends - namely Louis - and family even got the idea.

"No" he said, sighing. "Just because I mention him doesn't mean he has to be my boyfriend. I thought we were all past that age."

"You get that look though" Safaa insisted. "When you talk about him. All soft and stuff."

Zayn groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "No, god, just leave it, yeah?"

"You never have boyfriends anymore, Zayn!" Waliyha joined her little sister. "Maybe you should..."

"Girls" their mum interrupted, saving Zayn from a very uncomfortable talk. "Dinner's getting cold."

-

Zayn got to work later than usual on Monday morning because he hadn't gotten home until late, so Niall was already there.

"Did you enjoy your time at home?" he asked and Zayn very nearly blushed when he remembered what his sisters had said.

"I did, thanks. I don't go nearly enough."

"I was surprised you allowed yourself to come this late today" Niall teased with a grin. "But I'm glad you're able to now."

"All thanks to you" Zayn replied and Niall looked down. "I wouldn't be able to do any of this without you."

"You're making me blush" Niall muttered and Zayn laughed.

"Sorry, that wasn't my intention. Let's just get to work, yeah?"

"Alright, the layout department called, they want to meet for the Christmas edition. Something about Christmas presents too."

"Oh no" Zayn groaned. "Already? That's gonna mean a lot of work for us before Christmas."

"I'm sure we'll manage" Niall said with an uplifting smile. "We've got time."

-

At the end of the week, Niall and Zayn had done so much work already that Zayn was actually kind of confident they wouldn't drown in work right before Christmas for once.

It was all thanks to Niall of course, and Louis had convinced Zayn over tea that the best way of showing him his gratefulness would be to take him out for dinner.

So when they were packing up to leave and walk to the tube together as usually, Zayn asked:

"This might seem a bit sudden, but have you got any plans for tonight?"

"Nope" Niall said. "Was just gonna go home and watch telly with the lads if they're home. Why?"

"Uh...I was just wondering if you'd like to come have dinner with me? I know this great Mexican restaurant not too far from here, and I know you like Mexican food. You know, as sort of a thank you? Because you've been such a great help."

He was rambling and he knew it, but something about the situation made him feel slightly awkward and very nervous.

"Yeah, sure" Niall said with an easy smile and a shrug. "You don't have to though, you know that, right? It's my job after all."

"I know that" Zayn said, wrapping his scarf around his neck as they walked towards the main exit. "I want to, though. Don't you think we both deserve a nice meal out after this week?"

"Oh yeah, definitely" Niall agreed with groan. "Is it always like this?"

"Yeah" Zayn laughed. "The last few weeks before Christmas are always terrible."

"And you're always doing it on your own?"

"Yep. I mean I've only done it once before as chief editor, but I've still witnessed the stress when I worked different jobs."

"How do you even do it alone?"

"I don't know, to be honest. You've seen what I was like before you came, so I guess that plus a bit more."

"That's terrible, Zayn."

"Nah, I'm okay."

"You say that after you've pulled an all-nighter too."

Zayn laughed. "True, but that doesn't mean I wasn't alright."

"If you say so" Niall said, doubtful, his eye catching on something on the opposite side of the road. "Hey, do you think we could take a quick look over there?"

He was pointing at a shop window that displayed mostly guitars and Zayn nodded immediately.

"Of course."

They crossed the street and entered the shop, and Niall's whole demeanour changed.

Zayn could see that he was in his element among the sleek instruments, walking between them and touching some softly as if he was in awe.

He couldn't help thinking that Niall looked beautiful like this.

"This is my favourite" the blonde man suddenly said, making Zayn focus again. "It's sort of my baby, weird as that sounds."

His fingers were resting lightly against an acoustic guitar that even Zayn could tell looked beautiful.

"I'll spare you the details but it's beautiful and has an amazing sound at a decent price. It's not even really out of my price range, but right now we're not in a financial spot where I should spend my money on guitars I don't need that are just within my price range."

"Did Harry and Liam say that?"

"No, they'd never, they'd probably encourage me to buy it" Niall said with a fond smile. "It's something I've told myself. You're actually the first person who even knows I dream of something like this."

"I'm flattered" Zayn joked, but he really was. The thought that Niall trusted him enough to share this with him gave him an odd warm feeling in his chest.

When he looked at the price tag, he could see it was a price he wouldn't even think twice about spending and felt bad for a while.

Niall ignored his own wishes for the sake of supporting his friends and Zayn still had more than enough despite of everything he sent home.

-

Later, when they'd almost finished their main courses, Niall kind of revisited the topic.

"I've told you before that I really enjoy working for you" he started, hesitant. "I was just wondering...do you, too? I mean, working for the magazine of course."

Zayn stared at him dumbly. "What do you mean?"

"It's just that...I don't know, is your job really what you want to be doing?"

"I..." Zayn trailed off. "When I was a kid, I always wanted to be a musician, or an artist. I don't really think I'm talented enough for that, though, so instead I wanted to be an English teacher for a while."

"I didn't know you could draw."

"I'm really not that good" said. "Everyone else in my family is better."

Niall huffed. "I bet you're just downplaying yourself, but alright."

He looked at the tattoos on Zayn's forearms that were visible where he'd pushed up the sleeves of his dress shirt.

"I can see the artsy side of you though" he grinned.

Zayn laughed quietly. "Yeah...can't say I made my parents very happy with those."

"I bet not. What happened to teaching then?"

"Well, for a while I thought I could kind of combine the two things with journalism. You know, kind of go into music journalism, or art. But, well. What I'm doing now is much more suitable to provide for a family."

"A family?" Niall repeated, frowning. "I thought...didn't you say you lived alone?"

"Wha -? Oh! No, I didn't mean...I meant my family as in my parents and sisters. I'm paying for my sister's education at the moment, and I paid off my parents' mortgage."

"Really?" Niall sounded awed. "That's incredibly nice of you."

"They've done so much for me, I felt like it was time to pay back" Zayn said modestly. "They haven't always had it easy."

"But does your job make you happy, then? Cause as admirable as that is, money isn't everything. You gotta think about yourself sometimes. How often do you go to concerts? Or art exhibitions?"

"I...sometimes I go to exhibitions, but it's rarely about the art, at least for the other people there. It's all about seeing and being seen, you know. I hate it."

"So you never go anywhere like that for fun?"

"Don't really have the time" Zayn shrugged and remembered how he'd used to enjoy culture so much and now he hadn't even thought about going to a museum or something trivial like that in years.

"Look" Niall said, leaning across the table closer to Zayn. "I feel like I'm constantly sticking my nose into things that are none of my business, and I'm sorry for that, please tell me if you want me to stop." He gave Zayn time to react but when Zayn just kept looking at him expectantly - for whatever masochistic reason - he continued.

"It's just that...I worry about you. I've known you for two months now, Zayn, and you never seem truly happy. God, it feels so weird saying this, but I've seen the picture of you and your family on your desk in your office, and I've literally never seen you smile like that. Like, sometimes it looks like you're having fun or whatever and like you're enjoying yourself. But just not...happy. And that makes me really sad. Maybe you should think about what you're missing. What do you need to be that happy again?"

Zayn had just stared at Niall during his rant, and he kept staring at him when he'd finished, caught between different emotions.

Suddenly, he felt as if he'd be suffocated by all the things he'd pushed away for so long if he started thinking about them now.

There were so many undisclosed thoughts, wishes and feelings there somewhere deep inside of him, old ones and new ones, and that realisation scared him.

There was no way he would start untangling that mess here over dinner with Niall of all people, so he did the only thing he could think of: he avoided thinking and talking about it.

"Has it really already been two months?"

Niall's face did a funny thing where it switched expressions very quickly, but thankfully he went with it and didn't press Zayn for an answer.

"Of course! It's nearly Christmas after all, only ten days to go" Niall said, his face lighting up at the mention of the holiday.

"Ten days?" Zayn repeated. "Is it that close?"

"Jesus, Zayn, where's your head at? Yeah, it's Christmas in ten days."

Niall chuckled disbelieving and Zayn just fiddled with the tablecloth.

"I don't really celebrate Christmas" he admitted.

"You don't -? Oh" Niall seemed to realise something halfway through and his tone turned from accusatory to understanding. "Is it because of your religion? Don't you celebrate it at all?"

"It's not because of my religion...my family has always celebrated Christmas, maybe because of my mum, I don't know. But for me, Christmas hasn't really been a thing in a while."

Niall looked at him as if he was crazy and Zayn felt the need to explain some more.

"It's Louis' birthday on the 24th and he always celebrates on that date, meaning I could leave here Christmas day noon at the earliest. And then I'm usually back at work on boxing day, so it's not really worth going home for, and alone at my flat it isn't really fun either."

"You're celebrating with us this year" Niall announced as soon as Zayn had finished, and he knew he didn't have a chance but he tried to say no anyway.

"There's no way you're spending the best day of the year alone. Aren't we friends by now? I feel like we are, and you should definitely come. I'm not gonna let you sit around alone on /Christmas/. Liam and Harry won't mind, Harry is probably gonna be over the moon he'll get to cook for more people."

"Niall..." Zayn kept trying. "I can't keep intruding like that."

"You're not intruding, I want you to come!" he looked thoughtful for a second. "Alright, let's do this: I'm going to ask the lads, and if they want you to come, too, you'll come, yeah?"

Zayn sighed, rubbing his face. This was a fight he'd lost right away.

"Alright."

-

Ten days went by in a blur, there was so much work to be done that Zayn didn't even notice time passing.

Suddenly, it was the 24th and he had to enlist Louis' help to find gifts for Liam and Harry even though his best friend knew them even less than he did, because it was somehow much harder finding something for them than for Niall.

"It's my birthday, I should be getting presents, not picking them out" he whined and Zayn laughed at his childish pout.

"Oh, you'll get your presents early enough, shut up."

"I just don't understand why I have to" Louis continued. "I'm not even going and I still have to pay for presents. Only because you bought something for Niall that's way too expensive to be bought for an assistant."

"Ugh, Lou, will you leave it?" Zayn felt like he'd gone through the same argument thousands of times over the past two days.

"No, I'll never let this rest" he smirked. "I just can't believe you're still trying to tell everyone - including yourself - this doesn't mean anything."

"We're friends" Zayn insisted.

"Whatever" Louis said. "Don't say I didn't tell you if I turn out to be right. Now. What the hell do you give someone you've met like twice for Christmas?"

-

Louis' birthday party was always quite a big event, considering it took place on Christmas Eve.

When Zayn got there, the music was already loud enough to be heard outside before Eleanor opened the door for him.

He greeted her with a kiss on each cheek and she grabbed his hand before he could walk past her.

"Niall's already here" she informed him for some reason. "He's in the kitchen, I think."

Not that Zayn was so impatient or had even planned looking for Niall right away, but the drinks were in the kitchen anyway, so why shouldn't he just head there first?

"Thanks" he told Eleanor and made his way to the kitchen, greeting people he knew and liked more or less on the way.

"Zayn!" Niall greeted him cheerfully, taking a step towards him and then pausing hesitantly, as if he wasn't sure if he was allowed to hug him.

For a moment, Zayn thought that he'd like that very much, but then he just gave an awkward "Hey" and waved at everyone in the kitchen. Besides Niall, those were Harry, Liam and Louis' friend Stan.

"Hey, Zayn!" Harry shouted excitedly. "I've missed you, mate!"

"He hasn't stopped talking about you and Louis, is what he means" Liam chuckled, handing Zayn a bottle of beer that he accepted gratefully.

"I just had so much fun those nights we went to the pub" Harry defended himself. "We all had, more than we have in a long time. Admit that they fit perfectly into our group!"

Zayn laughed and Liam clapped his back.

"Maybe you'll be able to bring some maturity that I've never been able to get into these children's heads."

"Oi, we're perfectly mature, aren't we, Nialler?"

Niall looked up from where Zayn spotted him standing in the corner, playing with his almost empty bottle absent mindedly.

"Sure, Haz" he said distractedly and Harry sighed but didn't reprimand him.

"Lads!"

Louis burst into the kitchen, throwing an arm each around Zayn and Liam.

He looked around the kitchen that Stan had left from a couple of minutes prior, leaving only the five of them.

"Thanks for coming tonight" he continued, glancing at Zayn. "And thanks for taking in this stray tomorrow."

"Sure thing" Liam said. "Can't be too many people on Christmas."

"Maybe we'll finally be able to actually eat a turkey" Harry wondered, eyes lighting up.

Niall snorted. "Harry, you've made us eat turkey each year."

"Yeah, but...we always leave so much we're eating turkey until like New Year's and then you keep bringing that up. It's annoying."

"Uh" Zayn made. "You know that I won't be able to eat half a turkey on my own, right Harry?"

Niall laughed loudly, trying to turn it into a snort halfway through.

Liam chuckled more quietly, shaking his head. "Harry doesn't need to make sense."

"Obviously" Louis teased and Harry kicked his shin.

"Shut up, you lot" he pouted. "I'm just happy Zayn's coming."

"Aw." Zayn patted his arm. "I'm happy you invited me."

"All thanks to Niall!" Louis said and Niall blushed.

"Change of topic?" he suggested.

"Not really a change of topic" Louis said, "but I was gonna ask you if you're up to getting smashed tonight anyway. I brought vodka."

He lifted the bottle with the clear liquid to the cheers of Niall and Harry, who already got the Red Bull out of the fridge.

Zayn was relieved to see they at least didn't want to drink the vodka dry.

-

A few hours filled with lots of drinking and a couple of presents being unpacked later, Zayn was out on the balcony of Louis and Eleanor's apartment, smoking a cigarette.

He'd mostly stopped smoking, simply for the lack of time for smoking breaks, but occasionally he just needed a quick smoke to unwind.

He didn't know if it was the alcohol, or the heat inside, but for some reason his skin felt too tight tonight, the air jittery with _something_.

Everywhere he went he could hear people laugh, and he was always able to pick out Niall from the whole group.

He didn't know what was going on, and he'd needed air.

The glass door opened, releasing a waft of warm air and noise, before shutting again softly.

Zayn didn't turn around to see who it was, because for some reason he already knew anyway.

Niall stepped to the railing next to him, resting his forearms on it, not saying anything, not even looking at Zayn.

For a few minutes, the two of them just stood outside in silence.

"Alright?" Niall eventually said.

Zayn made a noncommittal sound.

"I didn't know you smoked."

"I don't" Zayn shrugged. "Not usually, at least. Used to, but."

Niall chuckled. "Liam and I did too, occasionally. Harry made us stop, though."

"Want one?" Zayn offered.

"God, yes" Niall almost moaned. "Thanks."

Zayn lit Niall's cigarette and pulled out another one for himself, taking a slow drag and watching Niall exhale the smoke expertly.

"Can't have Harry catch me" Niall mumbled after a few more silent minutes, inhaling deeply one last time before stumping out the butt.

"Just tell him it was all me" Zayn chuckled. "You just stood next to me."

He threw his cigarette butt away too, turning to face Niall who grinned at him.

And even though he'd maybe run away from him earlier, he suddenly didn't think he'd rather have anyone else here with him but the shivering young man.

He focused again and noticed that Niall was still shivering in only his jumper.

"You cold?" he asked.

Niall shrugged. "Should head back in soon, I guess."

Zayn hummed again but he shrugged out of his leather jacket anyway, placing it around his shoulders.

"No, Zayn, you don't have to" Niall protested. "Put it back on, you chivalrous idiot! You're gonna freeze to death in that shirt."

His plaid shirt really didn't do much against the harsh December cold, Zayn noticed, so he took his jacket out of Niall's hands and put it back on.

Instead of letting Niall head back inside, though, he startled them both by pulling him closer, wrapping his arms around his shoulders to keep him warm.

Apparently he was still more drunk than he'd thought.

Niall made a small surprised sound but responded by shoving his hands under Zayn's jacket and hugging him back.

"Much better" he mumbled, words muffled against where his lips were almost brushing Zayn's neck.

"Good" Zayn said just as quietly, trying to fight down the nerves that he felt in his stomach.

He wasn't sure when or how he'd gotten close enough to Niall to _hug_ him, trust him enough for this kind of closeness.

But. Niall's steady breathing against the side of his neck and his warmth in Zayn's arms felt oddly familiar and _right_.

The door behind them opened and someone said "Shit, sorry, seems like we're not the only ones -" and Zayn jumped away from Niall as if they'd been caught doing something else entirely.

A guy and a girl that Zayn both didn't know had stumbled outside, obviously drunk and looking for a place to make out or even more.

"Nah, it's alright" Zayn got out, sounding slightly choked. "I was gonna head back inside anyway."

He wasn't sure why he'd reacted this extremely, or why his hands were still shaking or why his chest felt so tight when he caught Niall's eye and he looked away quickly, looking confused and hurt.

"You sure, mate?" the guy asked while the girl giggled drunkenly into his neck and it suddenly reminded Zayn so much of him and Niall mere moments earlier that he could only nod and squeeze past the couple to get away.

"Zayn, it's about time you showed up!"

Liam was suddenly next to Zayn, an arm thrown around his shoulders, reeking strongly of alcohol.

"Did Niall find you?"

"I..." Zayn wasn't sure what to say. He hadn't even known Niall had been looking for him.

"Ah, there you are!" Liam interrupted him before he could even try to explain, staggering off towards Niall, who'd come back inside too. "The others are waiting!"

Liam grabbed them both by an arm each, pulling them along with surprising strength considering his inebriated state.

In Louis' and Eleanor's bedroom, Harry and Louis were waiting for them with what seemed to be another round of shots.

"Not again" Zayn groaned, making Harry laugh inappropriately much. They were obviously all too drunk already to be doing this.

"Shut up" Louis slurred. "We're drinking to...something."

"To Christmas!" Harry yelled from where he'd fallen off the bed.

"To me!" Louis corrected him with an uncoordinated kick his way. "Birthday boy."

"To our friendship" Liam said more quietly and Harry scrambled to his feet, slobbering a kiss to his cheek before he pinched Zayn's face lovingly.

"To our friendship" he repeated.

Zayn sighed and reached for a shot with a fond smile on his face.

-

"I'm too old for this" was the first thing Zayn said when he woke up, to no one in particular.

Someone groaned in response and Zayn fought to keep his eyes open for more than a few seconds, slowly taking in his surroundings.

Apparently he'd fallen asleep on the sofa, his head on Liam's lap, who lay uncomfortably half across the armrest.

On the floor next to them, Niall had made an improvised bed out of sofa cushions and what looked to be Zayn's leather jacket and shirt.

Neither Harry nor Louis were anywhere to be seen.

"Oh god" Zayn groaned, sitting up slowly when his memories from last night started returning. Why had they kept drinking when they'd already been this embarrassing when the other guests started leaving? "I'm 28, for fuck's sake..."

Liam groaned again and sat up too, stretching to get rid of the cricks everywhere in his body.

"You've disappointed me in the maturity department a bit, if I'm being honest."

"Stop talking" came a groan from Niall's direction, and Zayn could see him bury his head deeper in the pillows.

"Harry slept in front of my bed like a dog tonight" Louis announced a second later when he left his bedroom. "Tried climbing into our bed but Eleanor wasn't having any of it."

Zayn could've sworn he'd heard something like pride in his voice.

"I'm a strong woman, Harry was right about that!" Eleanor's voice came from the kitchen. "And you better hurry up now, mister, we have to leave for the airport in an hour if I may remind you."

"Shit, yeah" Louis muttered, before raising his voice again to call out to his girlfriend: "How could I forget that, honey?"

The reply was a snort and Zayn chuckled, finding himself once again admiring their relationship.

His eyes met Niall's for a second, sending a weird thrill down his spine before the blond looked away from him towards Louis.

"You throwing us out then, Tommo?"

"'fraid so" Louis grinned. "You can have a cuppa but then I'm gonna need you to leave."

"You're gonna call me though, right?" Harry mock whined from the bedroom door before walking over and throwing himself across Zayn's and Liam's laps on the sofa.

"If I hadn't been here all the time, I would actually believe you had some weird fivesome last night" Eleanor said from where she was leaning against the door frame, mug in her hand, looking over to where Niall was now sitting up, his back against Zayn's legs and Harry combing his fingers through his hair.

"Who says we didn't?" Harry waggled his eyebrows and Liam hit him over the head.

"Just because most of you are kind of open in that respect doesn't mean I am, too" he said. "Still not into blokes, me."

Zayn realised this was the first time since that first night at the pub they'd approached the subject of sexuality, and even though a blind man could tell that Harry didn't really care about genders and he'd kind of gotten certain vibes from Niall that he didn't really want to think about, he didn't _know_.

They didn't go any further on the topic though, and Zayn didn't see a reason to either, so when they left Louis and Eleanor, wishing them fun in Spain, he didn't necessarily know more than before.

"I can't believe you're not coming to our New Year's party!" Niall shouted back up the stairs when they were practically outside of the building already.

Louis laughed in reply. "Don't do anything I wouldn't, kids!"

Zayn separated from Niall, Liam and Harry in front of the apartment with the promise to be at theirs at four o'clock.

-

At home, Zayn showered and tried to get his nerves to calm down. He felt as if his whole world had shifted somehow, and that Niall had a lot, if not everything, to do with it.

He obviously knew they weren't just colleagues anymore, they'd been friends for a while now, but somehow there was more to it.

Niall was like an itch that he couldn't scratch, and he didn't know what to do about it.

The line between professional and personal had been crossed long ago, but he wouldn't even let himself think about the possibility of crossing another one.

Not even about if that was what he wanted, at all. Sometimes it was better to not want anything at all instead of being disappointed if it didn't work out.

-

Getting his presents from his apartment to the flat the three other lads shared was quite the job, since especially Niall's was quite a big package.

He'd put the actual present into a big box so Niall wouldn't know what it was from the shape already, but that didn't make it easier to transport.

People on the tube didn't seem exactly thrilled when he squeezed in with his big bag, but in the spirit of Christmas no one complained.

Liam came down to help him carry it up the stairs when he arrived at their building and made a surprised face when he lifted it and noticed it wasn't very heavy.

"I know that'd kinda ruin the surprise, but what the fuck have you got in here?"

Zayn shrugged with a grin. "One of the presents is rather big size-wise."

"Obviously" Liam laughed. "You didn't have to get us anything, you know that, right?"

"I wanted to. The three of you have done more for me than you probably know."

Liam looked at him, face going all fond and soft.

"Well, we've loved getting the addition of you and Louis to our group. I'm not big with words or anything, but you're not the only one who's gotten something out of this."

"Thank you" Zayn smiled sincerely and Liam squeezed his shoulder before he pushed open the door to their flat.

Zayn had been there once before, on a weekday at Harry's insistence because he'd wanted to finally have him over for dinner, so all of the open space didn't surprise him anymore.

The whole front part of the apartment was one big room that provided space for a living room, a big table plus chairs and a kitchenette in the corner.

Niall was on the far right side, apparently fixing the lighting on one of the endless bits of Christmas decoration that was spread all across the room, making it look very festive and a bit too much.

It kind of fit his friends though, so Zayn wasn't even surprised.

Harry was at the stove, stirring something in a big pot, wearing an apron that said "Master Chef" in very big letters.

He turned around when he heard the door closing behind Liam and Zayn and came over to engulf Zayn in a big hug, as if they hadn't seen each other just a couple of hours ago, trying not to hit him with the big wooden spoon he was still holding.

Zayn hugged him back, feeling like he was maybe finally getting used to the easy affection these boys always showed.

When Harry had let go of him, Niall was already waiting in line with a small smile and Zayn didn't hesitate to hug him too.

It wasn't groundbreaking or scary or whatever he'd been afraid of, it was just a hug, a nice one admittedly, but nothing to freak out about.

Zayn would've liked to shake his head at himself.

-

Zayn didn't go to work on boxing day like he usually did, he'd stayed pretty late the night before and slept in, for the first time in what was probably years.

In the afternoon, he skyped his delighted family, so he'd at least kind of spent time with them over the holiday.

He didn't feel like working on a day everyone else stayed home, and he was pretty sure he was too distracted by the constant replay of Niall's smile when he'd opened his present that was playing in his mind anyway.

It had been shortly followed by a thousand "you shouldn't have"s and "I can't accept that"s, but his immediate reaction had been the most breathtakingly beautiful smile Zayn had ever seen.

All evening, Niall had tried to convince him he didn't want the present, but Zayn had seen his face when he'd realised that Zayn had given him the guitar he'd been wanting, and he didn't give in.

Niall finally accepted the present hours later with a tight hug and a disbelieving look on his face.

-

When Zayn came to work the day after Christmas, Niall wasn't there yet, so he greeted Tracy as nicely as possible, asking her about her Christmas which obviously startled her so much that she dropped her pen before answering and then went into his office to wait for Niall and the coffee he'd be bringing.

When he arrived, Niall didn't only bring a cup of coffee, he also brought a page from some magazine.

He placed both in front of Zayn before finally looking at him.

"Good morning" he said. "I really hope you stuck to your word and didn't work yesterday and you should also apply here."

Zayn, who'd still been busy shaking his head at the work thing, froze.

Niall pushed the paper he'd brought closer so he could take a look at it.

"It's an ad from _Aesthetica_ , that art and culture magazine" he explained before Zayn could even start. "They're looking for an editor-slash-journalist, so you'd get to do what you're doing now, but you'd also get to go to concerts and exhibitions and whatever else they cover to write about it. Doesn't that sound great? I looked over the qualifications they want and you easily fulfil them. What do you think?"

Zayn was quiet while he looked over the - admittedly very promising - ad before turning back to Niall.

"I don't know" he said. "It sounds good, but I can't."

"Why not? I know you're thinking about your family, but don't you think it's time you start thinking about yourself? Don't you think your parents want you to be happy too?"

"Of course they do" Zayn said. "But I can be happy like this too, helping them makes me happy."

"Zayn" Niall sighed again. "How about you ask your parents what they think about this first? If I remember correctly, Waliyha is gonna be done with uni this summer, and this job starts in May. Until then, you could keep working here and make just as much money as you do now."

"But Safaa..."

"That's why I said you should talk to your parents. I don't know anything about your or their financial situation, but I'm sure it'll be possible even if you start another job."

He looked at Zayn with his unfairly big, blue eyes, so genuinely concerned, that Zayn felt his resolve crumble.

"Please, Zayn. At least think about it."

Zayn sighed deeply. If he applied, there was no guarantee they'd offer him the job, so what was the problem? He could still decide what he wanted _if_ they did.

"Alright."

Niall cheered and grinned at him.

"You won't regret it." He moved to leave the office but turned around once more by the door. "At Louis' party, when it was just the five of us. That was the first time I've ever seen you smile like you do in that picture."

He left and Zayn stared at the closed door for a few moments and then at the picture Niall had referred to.

It was the family picture on his desk, from their only holiday ever, the summer before he'd started university.

It was taken at a beach, Zayn was 18, Doniya 20, Waliyha 13 and Safaa ten.

The whole family was on it, and they'd all laughed at something.

Picture Zayn smiled in that way he'd always been a little self-conscious about, with his tongue pressing against his teeth from behind, his eyes crinkling.

-

"Hello, sunshine" his mum greeted him when he called, like she always did. "Already ringing again?"

"Hi mum" Zayn said. "Something's happened and...I need your advice."

He told her all about what had happened, Niall's worries, the job offer, Niall's arguments and his own doubts. Trisha was quiet through most of it, occasionally making sounds to show him she was still listening.

The line was silent for a while after Zayn had finished, and he waited patiently for his mum to say something.

"Zayn..." she started, and her voice sounded strangely thick. "I'm so proud of you, you know that, right?"

"Mum..."

"I'm proud of everything you've achieved, of the person you've become and I'm so grateful for everything you've done for us. But Niall...you've managed to find someone who genuinely cares for you, and that's all I've ever wanted for you. You say you're just friends, and if you are, that's absolutely fine of course. But he's right. You need to do what makes you happy, and if that job will do that for you, I want you to apply for it. Your dad and I, we'll be fine. Thanks to everything you've done already, it's gonna be no problem to take care of Safaa's education."

Zayn swallowed thickly. "You're sure?"

"I am, Zayn. Stop worrying about others all the time and start thinking about yourself, yeah? And hold on to Niall."

-

The end of the year arrived just as quickly as Christmas had, even though they didn't have nearly as much to do.

They'd finished everything in time and even started on some of the things that had been scheduled for the first week of the new year.

Zayn had also sent Niall home earlier on the 31st, so he would have time to help Liam and Harry set everything up for their party.

When Zayn arrived in the evening, there was already a considerable amount of people there, filling the - not small but definitely not huge either - flat pretty much up.

Someone he didn't know opened the door for him and he felt a bit lost for a moment.

He didn't know anyone except for Niall, Liam and Harry at this party.

Spotting Harry's curly hair wasn't too difficult though, and he quickly made his way over to him, realising that it was even more crowded than he'd already thought from the door.

"Zayn!" Harry greeted him enthusiastically when Zayn reached him, and he assumed that his friend was already a bit tipsy. "This is my friend Nick!"

He pointed to the tall guy with the even taller hair - it was kind of ridiculous, actually - next to him, who shook Zayn's hand.

"He's your age" Harry said to Nick, who seemed delighted.

"Great!" he said. "Someone else with a 3 before the 0?"

"Oh" Zayn made, glaring at Harry. "No, not yet. I'm 28."

Harry grinned sheepishly. "I thought Nick was younger."

"Thanks, Styles. Anyway, we're both older than most of these kids here, that's enough for me."

"Nick's a radio host" Harry explained. "He's helping me with my rise to fame."

"I'm sure this one'll make it big" Nick agreed. "He's got a lot of talent."

"I know" Zayn nodded with a grin. "I've heard him sing in the shower."

"Oh, are you two...?" Nick trailed of.

"No, no!" Harry hurriedly assured him. "Zayn's been over a couple of times, but we're not...he's Niall's boss actually."

"That must be a good work relationship you're having if you're invited to one of their legendary parties."

"Guess we became friends somewhere along the way, too" Zayn shrugged.

"You talking about me?"

Niall was suddenly next to them, hooking an arm around Zayn's neck.

"Yeah, how'd you know?" Harry asked.

"I didn't" Niall laughed. "Would you mind if I stole Zayn here for a while?"

"Nah, be good, you two" Harry teased and sent them off with a wave.

"Am I being kidnapped?" Zayn asked when Niall led him through the crowd and the blonde man laughed.

"Yeah, I'm taking you to my dark basement where I can kill you slowly and painfully."

"Should I try to run?"

"No chance, mate" Niall said, grinning over his shoulder at Zayn before he opened a door and pushed Zayn through it.

The room wasn't a dark basement though, it was Niall's bedroom, as Zayn could easily tell from the pictures on the walls and the guitar in the corner.

"Sorry for hogging you" Niall started, "but I wanted to ask you about your application. I gave you a couple of days time, but I just wanted to know if you've considered applying?"

"I did. Apply, I mean. I rang my mum and she told me you were right and I should go for it."

"Really?" A wide grin spread across Niall's face and he launched in for a hug that Zayn gladly returned. "You don't know how happy that makes me."

"Thank you" Zayn said quietly, trying to convey how grateful he really was. He hoped Niall knew how much he'd changed Zayn's life already.

"You're more than welcome." Niall let go of him and took a step back, looking at his new guitar for a long moment. "You've done a lot for me, too."

"I don't think you can really compare those two things, but I hope it gave you at least something back."

"Oh, shut up Zayn" Niall said fondly. "You're too nice for your own good. Come on now, how about we get something to drink and then we join the party?"

"Sure."

They met Liam just outside of Niall's room and he looked at them a bit curiously when he saw them exiting, but didn't say anything.

He joined them on their way to the kitchen, where they found Harry too and Zayn didn't feel lost at all anymore.

-

When midnight was just around the corner, Zayn was in a pleasantly buzzed state, probably just on the right side of drunk.

Niall and Harry had both definitely slipped towards _too drunk_ though.

Niall was holding on to his arm when the countdown started, so he was the only one Zayn didn't lose in the crowd.

Somehow the party had gotten even more crowded throughout the evening, which had caused Niall to drink more so he'd be able to cope with his claustrophobia.

Both Zayn and Niall joined in on the countdown that everyone shouted.

"Five, four, three, two, one, HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

All around them, people were yelling and hugging and kissing, and Zayn turned towards Niall with a smile, and then -

Niall's lips were on his, warm and soft and insistent, his hands on Zayn's waist, his breath on Zayn's face, and Zayn.

Zayn closed his eyes and leaned in, his arms wrapping around Niall's back, pulling him closer.

Niall made a soft noise and it was as if this was what Zayn had been waiting for this whole time, as if this was what had been missing all along.

The itch under his skin receded and he felt calm and content and happier than he could remember being in a long time, and Niall's tongue was exploring his mouth and he never ever wanted to kiss anyone but him -

"Happy New Year!"

Zayn and Niall jumped apart, startled, and there was Harry, drunk and happy, pulling them in for a hug and suddenly, everyone seemed to want to get to Niall, pushing Zayn off to the side.

He could still feel Niall's lips, his hands on his waist, his hair between his own fingers, but.

That was _Niall_ , who worked for him, who was his friend, who was drunk enough to kiss whoever was near him at midnight and.

It didn't mean anything.

Not to Niall at least, because as Zayn belatedly realised now, it meant a whole lot to him.

More than it should, and he suddenly couldn't bear the thought of having Niall tell him that kiss had only been a one-off, a typical New Year's Eve kiss, nothing special.

So he left.

-

The first of January was a holiday and even Zayn stayed in bed, nursing his hangover and wallowing over Niall.

He debated calling or at least texting him, but didn't know what to say if he did.

They'd both been pretty drunk. Niall might not even remember anything, or if he did, he might regret it. Feel ashamed, terrified. Hate Zayn.

That was what Zayn felt at least, he felt like a monster for taking advantage of his young and impressionable employee like that.

So he didn’t contact Niall, staying in bed all day and feeling bad for himself. In the evening he sent him a very formal email, giving him the first week of January off.

An hour later, Niall tried to call him three times, but Zayn never picked up and deleted the messages he left without listening to them.  Niall then sent him a text saying nothing but _i think we should talk_ that Zayn also ignored.

The text proved that Niall did indeed remember, which didn’t make Zayn feel any better. It meant he didn’t only have to deal with it himself, he also had to face Niall at some point.

What had he been thinking? Even intoxicated he shouldn’t have listened to his heart in that situation, he should’ve used his head like he always did.

He should’ve stopped the kiss right away. Who even expected anything to come from a kiss in a setting like that? Everyone wanted to kiss someone at midnight, but it rarely meant something.

Frustrated, he threw the sofa cushions against the wall and then fell asleep in the same clothes he’d changed into after fleeing the party.

The second of January, Zayn went back to work. He made a half-hearted attempt to clean himself up, but his stubble was too long to count as that and too short to be a beard and the bags under his eyes were too big to hide.

He didn’t get much done that day because he’d forgotten to buy a cup of coffee on his way to work and no one was there to remind him of his lunch break.

Both Harry and Liam tried calling him, but he ignored them both.

The third and fourth of January were a weekend and Zayn spent it completely in bed without talking to anyone, doing nothing but watching reruns of Homeland.

The fifth of January, Zayn remembered how bad coffee tasted when you bought it to go and carried it all the way to your office.

He couldn’t even celebrate the invitation to an interview he got from _Aesthetica_ , because there was no one there to be happy with him.

The sixth of January, Louis stormed into his office, tan and excited, sitting down on Zayn’s visitor chair and propping his feet up on his desk. He started telling him about his and Eleanor’s holiday so quickly Zayn wouldn’t have been able to keep up if he felt normal before taking in Zayn’s appearance and stopping abruptly.

“What happened to you?” he asked, eyes roaming across Zayn’s face and crinkly shirt. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, why?” Zayn lied.

“I leave you alone for two weeks and when I come back, everything’s gone tits up” Louis complained. “What the hell happened and why didn’t you call me? Where’s Niall?”

Zayn was silent but something must’ve showed on his face, because Louis groaned loudly and took his feet down.

“Oh no. Oh no, Zayn, what happened with Niall?”

“Why do you assume it has to do with him?” Zayn asked stubbornly.

“Because he’s the only person who’s affected you in any way lately and I don’t know who else could cause you to let yourself go this much. What did he do?”

“He didn’t do anything” Zayn mumbled, hiding his face behind his hands. “I did.”

Louis leaned closer to Zayn, a soft expression on his face that kind of scared Zayn. Louis wasn’t _soft_.

“Tell me what happened. Please, Zayn.”

Zayn sighed deeply and lifted his head to start.

The seventh of January was a wet and cold day, usual London weather that even Zayn’s coat couldn’t quite keep out.

He didn’t feel particularly good anyway, since Louis had told him he needed to fix things with Niall, and Eleanor – who’d of course been told everything – had joined in.

Louis had dragged Zayn to his and El’s flat after his confession, to get his mind off things, originally. The whole evening had ended up being about nothing else but what he’d done or hadn’t done, though.

“You need to fix this” Louis had demanded. “I really like Niall, and I like his friends too. I wanna keep hanging out with them, they’re the perfect addition to our way too small social circle! I don’t think I can stop being their friend just because you fucked up. Besides, he was good for _you_. I’ve told you before, but I haven’t seen you as happy as you were with him in a very long time. I don’t care how you do it, but this needs to be fixed.”

“Imagine what he must feel like” Eleanor had argued. “If he doesn’t think you’re a pervert as you seem to assume. You’re sending very mixed signals. Flirt with him, take him out, buy him things, _kiss him at midnight_. Run away and ignore him. Zayn, he’s tried contacting you. Have you listened to any of his messages? Read any of his texts? No? What if he’s trying to tell you he wanted it too?”

Zayn blamed her for not getting that possibility out of his head all day.

The eighth of January, Zayn had his interview with _Aesthetica_ in the afternoon. He cleaned up properly for it, because even if he’d messed things up with Niall, he still wanted to do his best. Just because Niall wouldn’t be around to cheer him on didn’t mean he didn’t want to try for the job. Maybe it’d help him get over Niall if he had a job he enjoyed doing.

As far as he could tell, the interview went well.

The ninth of January was Zayn’s last day alone at the office. Monday would bring back Tracy. And Niall.

The thought of Niall had him distracted all day and he was relieved there wasn’t much going on at work yet because he didn’t have to talk to anyone.

When 6pm rolled around, Zayn thought about how Niall would drag him out of his office around this time and pinched the bridge of his nose harshly when he felt a stinging behind his eyes.

He stayed.

-

“I’m sick of it.”

Zayn’s head snapped up faster than it ever had and he stared toward his door that had just been pushed open. Niall stood there, his cheeks flushed – whether from exertion or anger wasn’t visible – and brows pulled together.

He stepped inside Zayn’s office, swiftly locking the door behind him.

“I’m sick of this radio silence, Zayn. Fuck, I have a pretty good idea why you’re doing it, but apparently you don’t get anything and I have to do everything myself.”

“Niall” Zayn finally forced out, his voice sounding rough.

“How could you do this to me? Run and then ignore me for over a week? I know you, I’m sure you thought this is what I wanted, but it’s not. It’s not, okay?”

“It’s not?”

“No, fuck. I thought you’d finally gotten the hint when you kissed me but then…what were you _thinking_?”

“Hint?” Zayn felt as if Niall was several steps ahead of him. About as many as he took now until he was stood right in front of Zayn’s desk.

“What I want, Zayn” Niall said slowly, as if he was talking to a child. “Is for you to kiss me again.”

Zayn kept staring at him, trying to will himself to say something, do something, at least form a coherent thought.

"Please."

Niall's voice sounded smaller now, pleading, almost sad.

"Niall..." Zayn swallowed. "I'm your boss -"

"Not forever" Niall shook his head. "You'll get the job at _Aesthetica_ , or I'll stop working as your assistant if it bothers you that much. Harry already asked me if I want to do his PR once he's made it, and all I gotta do is take a few more classes. Zayn, I know that I'm not the only one feeling this way."

Zayn got up and took a tentative step towards Niall.

"When you kissed me...that wasn't just a New Year's kiss?"

"No" Niall said. "No, definitely not."

"So you just...?"

"Zayn" Niall said, sounding exasperated now. "I'm in love with you. I know it's probably way too early to tell you this, but I am."

"Yeah?" Zayn's voice was hushed, but he reached out to grab one of Niall's hands.

A smile slowly spread across Niall's face. "Yeah."

"Me too" Zayn said, moving until he was so close to Niall he could feel his body heat. "I mean. I love you, too."

Niall reached up with his free hand to cup Zayn's cheek, thumbing across his cheekbones softly.

When they kissed, Zayn felt himself sigh into it, wrapping an arm around Niall to pull him closer.

It was slow and soft, both of them taking their time, exploring.

Eventually, Niall's hand settled on Zayn's waist, pulling his shirt from out of his dress pants until he could tuck his hand under, caressing the skin there.

Zayn made a noise, deepening the kiss while trying to get his hands on some part of Niall that wasn't covered by fabric.

He tugged on the soft jumper Niall was wearing until the young man lifted his arm so he could pull it over his head.

The thin withe tee Niall was wearing underneath was much better so Zayn could push it up, hands smoothing across Niall's stomach and to his back.

Niall groaned deep in his throat and surged forward, tangling his fingers in Zayn's hair and pulling lightly, making him moan in reply.

When Niall pushed him backwards, Zayn went willingly, until the back of his knees hit his chair and he had to steady them with a hand on the armrest. He got the hint though, sitting down and pulling Niall with him so the blonde straddled him.

Niall had just been panting into his mouth at this point but went back to properly snogging him once he was seated comfortably, rocking forwards in Zayn's lap with intent.

Zayn groaned again and let one of his hands slip down to Niall's arse, pushing their crotches together again.

Niall whimpered and bit his bottom lip in retaliation, letting go to mouth along his jaw to his earlobe, biting lightly there next.

Zayn held Niall around the waist with one arm when he started pressing kisses to Niall's neck, the other man arching his back and letting his head fall back to give him better access to his throat.

Making good use of the opportunity, Zayn sucked small bruises everywhere in the soft skin of Niall's throat.

Niall's eyes were closed and he kept making those noises that drove Zayn absolutely mad, so he pulled him back in for another snog, bucking up helplessly to get some sort of friction.

He was half hard and when Niall met him halfway, he could feel that he was too.

"I've never seen your flat" Niall panted a little while later, when each of his touches already sent a thrill straight to Zayn's cock.

"Are you trying to make me take you home?" Zayn asked teasingly, kissing the side of Niall's mouth.

"Is it working?" Niall asked back, his hand playing with the hem of Zayn's shirt, dangerously close to the fly of trousers.

Zayn hummed, kissing him once more.

"I want to get out of here anyway" he murmured, sliding his mouth along Niall's skin until it was right against his ear. "Want you to fuck me."

Niall made a noise that sounded equally helpless and turned on and buried his face in Zayn's neck.

"You can't just _say_ things like that, Zayn, oh my god" he groaned. "We still have to take the tube."

"Yeah" Zayn sighed. "Come on, get up. We should probably cool down a bit before we leave here."

Niall got up from his lap and reached for his jumper, pulling it over his crumpled t-shirt.

When he turned back to Zayn, he laughed.

"I think I messed up your suit."

"Worth it" Zayn shrugged and scooped in for a chaste kiss.

Once they separated, Niall tried straightening his tie, but didn't have much success.

"I'll just take it off" Zayn said. "With my coat on no one's gonna see the crinkles in my shirt."

"Have you got a hat too? Your hair looks kinda mussed up" Niall asked with a grin.

"Says you" Zayn grinned back, running a hand through Niall's hair and tugging lightly.

"I do have a hat though." Triumphantly, Niall pulled out a beanie, shoving it over his messy hair.

Fondly, Zayn shook his head and kissed the tip of his nose before going to check his hair in the mirror.

He'd just managed to make it look halfway presentable again when Niall came up to him from behind, wrapping his arms around his middle and pressing a soft kiss to the back of his neck, at the juncture of his neck and shoulder.

"I'm really happy the evening turned out this way" he mumbled, lips still pressed to Zayn's skin. "I wasn't as sure about your motive as I said."

Zayn laced their fingers together in front of his stomach. "I'm glad you knew what an idiot I am."

"You _are_ an idiot" Niall chuckled.

"You love me anyway."

Niall's face went all soft and he brushed his lips across Zayn's neck once more. "I do."

Zayn turned around in his arms to kiss him properly once, before letting go.

"Let me just get my coat and then we can go, yeah?"

-

"Should we somehow let the others know?" Niall asked when they left the building hand in hand a little later. "Harry and Liam were really worried about us."

"Right, yeah, Louis was actually quite mad at me, said I had to fix it right away" Zayn agreed, kissing Niall's temple right below his beanie. "I guess you did the fixing in the end."

"I've got an idea" Niall grinned.

He started a group chat for the five of them, and sent the first message to all of them.

It was a selfie of Niall and Zayn, smiling widely, Niall's arm that wasn't holding the phone wrapped around Zayn's neck, who was resting his forehead against Niall's temple.

The replies they got were a rather incoherent mass of emojis.


End file.
